Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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