I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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