i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I am morally bankrupt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize