We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
