I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just fell off a train. Bad.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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