i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize