She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
