i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
