Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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