I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
