I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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