she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
