im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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