Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
