you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
two words...techno handjob
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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