I need help removing her.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
