I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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