a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
