Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
