I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he wants to bone in the snuggie
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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