Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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