How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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