very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It was confusing and full of hummus
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
