I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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