I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize