i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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