im having a threesome with these popsicles
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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