I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
