I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
