He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"