i already hear my dad disowning me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
