we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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