I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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