I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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