you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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