the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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