I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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