someone get that fucking seahorse.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
