All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do herpes really smell.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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