oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
