Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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