Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
God, I missed his penis.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
