i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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