someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize