so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
