I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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