Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize