yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
