just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Two words: blizzard sex
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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