If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
