ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
