I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
