Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
