I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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