If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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