tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies