Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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