I wish I only lived at night.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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