I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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