Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
