i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
