How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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